Economic Crisis Plan

Huh hmmm...(clearing throat and stepping on soap box)...I can single-handedly solve this whole financial crisis right now.

So, we have what I call a real "teething diaper" mess on our hands. A bunch of mumbo jumbo politicians trying to remember which hand to shake with and which one to wipe with, and just hope and pray they don't get them mixed up. There's so much finger pointing and back stabbing that - like a screaming toddler that belongs to you - you just tune it out and painfully wait it out until the end. So, let's take a look at this. We are in a recession. What does that mean? Basically, our economy is in swirl of water in the toilet. we're spinning around chasing tails and going down at the same time (to the sea of shit ultimately). So, how do we fix this? Well, the politicians think if you throw a big you-know-what in there (ie this "stimulus package") it will stop the swirling - which it will, but you all know what things look like when that happens. The panic immediately sets in as the swirl of water starts coming back up at you. You immidately fall to your knees to turn the emergency water shut off. Then its time to roll up your sleeves and pull out the plunger and the mop. So, while the "stimulus package" may stop the downward water swirl, it will ultimately look pretty for only a nanosecond before changing direction which only creates a whole set of new, bigger, problems.

My plan is more like calling a plumber in to just fix it in the first place. Enter...women.

What do we need to kick start the economy? Spenders. Who should the government give a stimulus to? Women. Simple math...A+B=C. Women will spend the money given to them, thus stimulating the economy. Ta da!

Clearly, my plan requires some tweaking, but let me sum it up like this. I would love the government to send me a check requiring me to go out and by some Prada's (which for the record I've never owned but would be fun to say I did someday) to save our country's economy.

You can make a contribution to my campaign when I announce my candidacy...