JACKSON HOLE, WYOMING

No words can ever describe this trip...but I will do my best. I'll start by saying if you (and I'm probably talking the whole two of you that actually read this blog...) ever get a chance to get out to Jackson Hole...DO IT! Beautiful! So, here's the story... or at least what I'm willing to tell of it. ; ) Got up at the crack of dawn to catch our Delta flight. I tried to cram as much hot summer/cool fall type clothes into my one, under 50 pound, bag that I was allotted. Thankfully I wasn't planning on skiing or snowshoeing as I would have either had to wear my parka and pants on board the plane or pay the extra $1000 for a second bag. Got everything in and weighed in on my bathroom scale which came up to 47lbs. Figured a three pound error should be okay. I was hoping I didn't "adjust" the zero on the scale more than 3 lbs...So, off we go at 5:30 AM. I was so proud of myself for seemingly having it together and being on time. That is until we were about 20 minutes into our trip when I realized I had left my sparkling clean (which is why they were off my hand) rings on the bathroom counter...We had to turn around...Thankfully we had a small extra pillow of time due to my togetherness and a small misreading of the departure time on the itinerary. We got turned around, rushed home, picked up rocks, and got back on the road. Got to the airport, J took car to Egypt, limped through security, and made it to our gate. Got on plane, changed in Salt Lake, and arrived in JH (that'd be Jackson Hole) with no trouble. Stayed at a beautiful home just outside of town. I will call our group "the Hole Pack" which consisted of J&A, L&T, D&M, and B&J. Whew! We made it...

Day 1 - Jackson Hole

Day 1: Arrived at our home away from home in complete style being chauffeured in a black suv and black sedan by the russians. Very Hollywood. Bedrooms were already assigned so after a quick survey of the grounds we dumped our bags and then reconvened for a "wooohooo" cocktail. Our roles on this trip quickly became apparent. Within the hour D & I were off to the corner grocery to stock up on much needed supplies. We were just getting the basics...you know, beer, wine, lettuce, chips, bacon, tape, etc. and for over an hour we stuffed all kinds of things into two carts as we wondered aimlessly around. Note to group: D & Audra not allowed to grocery shop together again. Gone for long time and spent lots of money. But, we figured we'd put our time in early and next time it was someone elses turn. Got carload full of supplies home and unpacked. Next...let's go into town! We were about a 10 minute car ride away from downtown Jackson. We went for a burger at the Silver Dollar bar and then wandered over to the Cadillac. Digestive and heartburn issues seemed to make their way around our group and the first one under attack was T. Her tight corset shirt didn't seem to be helping her issue, so as the good...I mean unbelievably good...friend I am I offered to switch with her so she could wear my loose, comfy, black shirt. Into the bathroom we go and switched. Thankfully we were in a bar and I was able to request some bacon grease to help squeeze me into the thing. No wonder she had heartburn! I am happy to report it was a size 2, so was worth not being able to breath just to say that. J had gone to get heartburn relief at the nearest store which was forever away and by the time he returned, he was overheated and feeling bad. So, we all laid down in the park for a quick rest before participating in some tight rope walking. Then, home we went. Can't remember what we did for dinner this night.

Day 2 - Jackson Hole

Day 2 (Sunday): Spent about 3 hours in the morning, sucking down three pots of coffee with REAL cream (thankfully one woman went on the grocery store run), trying to figure out what to do. Ended up going to a lunch back at the Cadillac where the world shrank really fast. The hostess asked where we were from, and when we answered NC, she said her too. When asked where, she answered Rocky Mount. Ha! What a small world. Our lunch seemed to go on and on and on...and on. Finally, after a few hours, we were set free. Off to go rent bicycles. We rode for miles in the heat through the Elk Refuge which was really neat. Didn't see any elk or any signs of elk, and even started to wonder if they didn't just say "Elk Refuge" just to get tourists to keep the dirt rode traveled, but we did see a coyote, a prairie dog, and some sort of bird of prey (hopefully not thinking "snack"). After riding, we went back home to get ready for our big dinner out at the SRG which was supposed to be out of this world. Of course I had a major clothing crisis but thankfully T was able to return the wardrobe favor by lending me a comfy red dress. Got to the restaurant, ordered GREAT wine, ordered dinner, and then it was my turn on the roulette wheel of heartburn. I miserably traveled a path between my chair and the bathroom which thankfully was only about 20 feet. J left dinner to go find tagamet. I then realized I had thrown a roll of tums in my pocketbook just in case anyone got heartburn. Ha! I was saving myself! I quickly ate the roll, J returned with the tag, and in about 15 minutes was feeling much better. I came back to the table ready to finish my million dollar meal that I had taken only 3 bites of, and it was GONE! The server thought I was done. That meal should have sat and sat and grown mold from sitting so long until I WAS ASKED IF I WAS finished. Which clearly I wasn't. It's a shame to leave a good, expensive, meal hungry. Long story short, all the meats ordered were overcooked, one so badly it HAD to be sent back - well-done when med-rare was ordered. Needless to say, I was not impressed and of course they will be getting one of my unsatisfied customer letters. On a positive note, the wine was excellent...After dinner, went home for some music and drinks.

Day 3 - Jackson Hole

Day 3: aaaa....SPA day. The boys and girls split up. Boys had a testosterone filled day of hiking and gondola riding. The girls went for a special treat at the spa. J and M chose facials. T had a hot stone massage, and I had an experience labeled "wrapped in stillness". More like wrapped in Heaven. Started with a exfoliating brushing of the skin which oddly enough felt good. Then more of a traditional massage with oil. After that, its a hot oil drip and then wrapped in crinkly paper. While all wrapped up, I had a full scalp massage which was awesome. After that, it was straight into the shower and then back to the lounge to rest. Once we were all finished with our services, we decided to stay all day (as you can use all the facilities) and have lunch. So, we lunched in our robes and chatted like little school girls. Life is good! Then we hopped from the steam bath, to the pool, to the lounge for a mimosa, back to the steam bath, all afternoon. Decided to eat in that night, so left Spa (I think a few tears were shed), and headed to SMITH's grocery for provisions. Got home and actually had a civilized grown up dinner with everyone seated at the table. What a wonderful day.

Day 4 - Jackson Hole

Day 4: Got up and headed out to Jenny Lake in the Grand Teton National Park for a day hike. Sounded easy enough. An approximately 2 mile hike around the lake, a short hike up to Inspiration Point, and then take the boat back across the lake to end. Hike started out on a laughable, flat, paved path. This quickly ended and the dirt, root and rock exposed, winding, narrow trail began. I think this trail was really only 2 miles - the way the crow flies - and about 10 miles winding around. Needless to say, it was beautiful! We saw Hidden Falls waterfall where the temperature dropped about 10 degrees. We hiked up a very narrow path to Inspiration Point - elev. 7200. All in all, it was gorgeous. Saw a deer, tons of chipmunks, and a big bull moose. Left the Park and headed back to the house to have an afternoon cocktail and be together. Decided to head into town for B, J, and I's last night in town. Having run out of money hiring the Russians to ride us in style, we called what we should have been riding in all along. The REDNECK TAXI. Not only did we all physically fit in the van...well, we just fit in. Had trouble corralling our unorganized group and even more trouble agreeing on a place to go. Chatted with "balls" the stagecoach guy and then finally settled on the Cowboy bar (where the barstools are saddles) even though B was dragging his feet about our choice and claiming he was turning in early. D was having his own party a little ahead of the rest of us. We sat down and had a great meal of hot dogs, nachos, and cheese steaks. Live music was getting ready to start. Somehow, B told the band manager that J was best friends with some country music star. So, for the next few hours, J had to talk up his relationship and how he was doing his best to get x star to come for a guest appearance at the bar. B was getting free drinks through all of this...I'm still a little fuzzy on this whole scenario. Long story short, the band got going and so did we. Out on the dance floor for the next few hours. We even got "mama" out on the floor - a Canadian woman celebrating her 60 something b-day with her daughter. Just as it was getting late, an announcement was made that there was a special guest. I thought J had pulled off whatever they had been working on all night. Needless to say, unrelated, but Trent T came out and sang a few songs. I had never heard of him, but he was really good and sang "Purple Rain" like no other! It got late, we went home.

Day 5 - Jackson Hole

Day 5: B, J and I were heading home. Spent the morning packing up and trying to restuff everything back in suitcase that clearly had shrunk. Only thing I purchased was a new pair of jeans. Anyway, got everything back in, got loaded up, and headed to airport with quick detour through town to pick up moose t-shirts for the boys. Returned rental car, checked in, held breath while bags were weighed (hooray, underweight), patiently waited in the slowest security line ever with apparantely people who have NEVER traveled before, got on our delayed plane. Made our connection in Salt Lake by the skin of our teeth. Passed by B sitting up in first class with his cocktail on our way to the low rent seats in the back, and headed back to RDU. Home safe and sound around 1am. Picked up boys from the beach next day and we were all back together.
Hole Pack - had a GREAT time in JH! Cheers to great friends and a great time!

Feeling HOT HOT HOT!

Feeling HOT HOT HOT HOT...This is a song I am supposed to hum while sipping pina coladas on a white sand beach with the teal green surf lapping at my toes while a waiter quietly lowers the drink flag I raised only 2 minutes ago as he slips an ice rimmed beverage into my hand. Instead, I am singing this song as I stagger around my hot house with sweat dripping down - well, everywhere - and my children look like they have run through a sprinkler even though they haven't left the house and have been nowhere near water the the exception of the supervised hand washing. OUR AIR IS OUT! It's 97 degrees outside! People die in these kinds of conditions! Oh the horrors of it. So much for looking fresh. The only thing I have a hope to be fresh is my breath after a brushing with some Crest. But who cares because no one can get close enough to smell my breath since my clinical strength Secret can't even keep up. Anyway, thankfully just in time before the hallucinations stage sets in, help is on the way. Our A/C guy is going to rescue us. Of course, we could do without the piece of paper with dollars signs and numbers too far from the little decibel that comes with this saving, but at this point we are just thrilled A/C is coming soon! Wednesday!!! Hurrah! If the new A/C is NOT IN by some silly technicality by WEDNESDAY, I'm sure you'll read about us in the papers and see our pictures on the evening news. Just get your wallets out and please bail us out. We weren't in our right minds. By the way, air conditioning was invented in 1906 by a man named Carrier (some of you might have a Carrier). If you need to know anything about SEER numbers, Trane's, or Trains, just let me know. I may just be an expert. ; )