Speechless...yes, me.

It's not very often that I'm at a loss for the typed word...but today I am. So, here's to a goodnight, drug-induced, sleep, and hopefully my fingers will be clacking better tomorrow...

Just Can't Get it Together

I know I'm not the only one who feels like they are constantly trying to run up a 20 foot slide that has been newly iced over. I get my thoughts together, I ball up my fists, I scrunch my brow and focus...focus... I get about two step in when my feet slip, my body crashes down, and next thing I know there I am at the bottom again. At the bottom again with nothing accomplished. So, I move on. This time to the gerbil wheel. Around and around and around. The same thing over and over. Just when I feel like I'm getting somewhere...I'm back where I started. And of course, Groundhog Day. Didn't I just to the exact same thing yesterday? How did all this laundry get here? Where did the sink go under all these dishes? And the dust bunnies! How did they find their way back so quickly???

So, here's to getting up early...and having a better day today...

FOR SALE

...well not yet...but very sadly thinking about it...

Me? Tennis?

The other day I got an invitation to play tennis. Yes, tennis. In my desperation to have any adult time (bonus - add in a little calorie burning), I accepted. I don't play tennis. I have never played tennis. I have absolutely no formal training in tennis at ALL.

So, hoping I wouldn't instantly crush any chance at three new friends, I scrapped together an outfit I thought suitable for my first appearance on the court. I found some all purpose leggings that can go athletic or black tie, dusted off a workout skort I found in the back of my closet, located some tennis shoes that didn't have a black bottom (see, at least I knew this much), and fished out one of my riding/golf shirts...which I think are all about the same, they just change the little logo for the sport they're selling for (all equally ridiculously expensive...). I was ready.

Got to the athletic club and met the crew. I instantly announced my lack of experience just so we were all clear that tournament bound we would not be any time soon with me as the new addition. Seemed to not be a problem. Pro showed up handed me a racket and asked me what sort of tennis experience I had.

Oh boy...none. None? None...Have you every hit a ball? Like, just hit one with a racket? Sure! It looked more like I was playing baseball hitting fly balls, but YES I have hit a tennis ball. Ok...let's go.

Long story short...I'll have to give kudos, where kudos are due (they are fat-free of course). My BFF back in RMT is a super duper tennis star. If it weren't for her, I would bypass tennis matches on TV as fast as I flip past CSPAN. But, since I felt a pull to understand her world a little more, I made it a point to watch and learn. So, even though my serve is laughable, my backhand is "extremely underdeveloped", and my forehand is 50/50, I can at least keep score, know where the lines are and what they mean, I can talk like I know what the hell I'm doing, and I know who S. Williams is (which I think...poor thing...could use a B reduck too - I'm with ya girl!!!) (So, thx, my friend...)

Well, after all was said and done, I wasn't as bad as I thought, and it looks like I can keep up with my new friends S,J, and M (at least they invited me back again). Overall, I had a really good time and enjoyed tennis. So, a little adult time, $3 an hour child care for Dalton, and some exercise...I think tennis is FAB!

New Gazzillion Dollar Business Idea

I've got this fabulous new idea. It's guaranteed to make zillions of dollars. Everyone needs my product so success is imminent. I won't need a big warehouse to stock lots of inventory, nor will I need a huge staff to manage and deliver. All profit...in my pocket...

Of course, like any new business venture, there are a few challenges that lie ahead. Not being an expert engineer, the actual "making" of my product looks to be a bit difficult. If producing my product from scratch proves unattainable, then I will look to my next option which would be the harvesting of already available product. Again, my expertise in this field is limited which would force me to then recruit and employ the correct specialty staff which could be costly, but should prove minimal in the long run.

I will require a bit of capital to get things rolling. I know many of you would not pass up the chance to be involved in a cutting edge idea such as this. I will even include a brick with your name on it to be placed outside in my yard. Or, if your contribution is substantial, I have a kids park bench that I will hand carve your name into.

So...(insert drum roll)...what is this amazing idea? I am going to sell T-I-M-E. Yes, people, time. Because we all either need it or want it. I am also going to offer negative time (which will be very closely regulated - you will need a prescription to purchase this option). Negative time is for those going through a troubling or stressful time and need time to go by faster. For example, if you are meeting with the florist about your wedding flowers and both your mother and mother-in-law think they have an opinion, you can opt to use negative time to fast-forward to the end result which can be to the end of the meeting and to the choice you ultimately will choose. Or, in very extreme cases of meddling, you can use negative time to get straight to the wedding. Another example would be potty traineing a child. Use negative time to get through the poopy underwear and all the other "accidents" that leave you frustrated and sometimes horrified (like when your child has a nookarooka (another word for really bad diaper - usually up the back) in a furniture store looking at big boy beds and decides to investigate the awful sludge with a few fingers before wiping on his pant leg...all to a non-aware mommy who is painfully trying to not make the wrong decision on her child's bedroom furniture that will most likely send him off to college...(yes, true story...yes, yesterday...and, yes, have to go back today to actually order the furniture...so embarrassing.) In this case, negative time can bypass all of this and get straight to the furniture showing up in his room.

The only negative part of negative time, is not only do you fast forward through painful and stressful events, you will simultaneously bypass anything good happening at this time. Therefore, be warned...negative time should only be used in extreme situations.

So, there you have it. Time for purchase and negative time for purchase. I am looking for anyone wanting to prepay or invest in this amazing idea. (If I get enough investors, I might actually get that Mac and new camera I've been coveting and actually have a legit business that I know something about...but shhhhh...)

All I know is good business ideas come from experience. And of all things I could use in my life..its more time!!!!

I Want to Sleep Like a KING!

So it's no secret that some crazy biological malfunction occurred simultaneously with the conception of what is now Dalton that robs me of sleep on a daily basis. That being said, my sleep habits are at best "unsatisfactory" with drugs, and completely nonexistent without. Add two kids, two dogs, superhuman mommy hearing that hears every wind shift in the night, and a small bed. I used to think a Queen bed was HUGE... And it is when you're 6 and you sleep in a twin. But, I've leaned, the longer you're married, the more kids you have, and the older you get, the good ole queen just starts shrinking. Last night, first wake up call around 1:30 was a nightmare...Being too lazy and tired to deal with it, we did the whole, just pull him into bed, reassure that those bad monsters have gone away, snuggle, kiss, and back to sleep. Next pitter patter occurred about 3AM (still a little early to start my day). Pulled this one into the bed. Laid there with him while he and his brother kicked one another for about an hour. Put him on other side of me but then was afraid he would roll out. So, about 4:15, I'd had enough torture. Figured, a few hours was good enough to survive my day on, and gave the little one some Tylenol for his pain, and put him back to bed. Made some coffee and decided to have a little mommy time on the computer...hence another successful blog post. Well, maybe one day I'll get my new over sized KING and then maybe I'll get to sleep like one...wouldn't that be nice.

Giving Notice

I'd like to take a few days off for vacation. No, I don't want to go anywhere or do anything specific. In fact, sitting still and being quiet, is enough.

So, here's my notice. I would like this Saturday and Sunday off.

I would like to sleep past 5AM. I would like to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and enjoy the day slowly beginning. I would like to sip my coffee curled up in the sunroom and enjoy the sun streaming in through the windows as I watch the birds convene at the feeder. I would like to sit at my computer and mindlessly surf the web. I would like to write. Later in the afternoon, I would like to lie down and relax. I would order dinner in. No chores, no children, no noise.

Sounds perfect.

Now, my only problem is I haven't figured out where and to whom I'm supposed to submit my notice...