Happy Thanksgiving!

So, I can't believe its already time for Tom Turkey to realize someone is going to take his donor card literally. Wow. Thanksgiving already. This truly is my favorite holiday. It's even better when you're pregnant (no, for the record, I am NOT), when you get to eat all you can, and have those not-so-flattering-but-noone-cares tummy panel pants. There's nothing better than over stuffing oneself with Thanksgiving trimmings and then have the tummy panel that allows even more room than you ever thought possible. Yes, I realize they DO make these types of garments in a non-maternity fashion, but I hope never to put upon my body. I'm thinking a dress might be the way to go this year. Not so great for chasing toddlers but you have to make sacrifices somewhere right? So, in true style of the Thanksgiving holiday, I am thankful for my health, my family, and my abilities and talents. I am also thankful for mothers, fathers and children. I am thankful for doggies and horses, and cats only if they eat mice. I am thankful for brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles, cousins and cousins and Leandro and cousins. Grandparents are great too especially if they change dirty diapers. I am thankful for babysitters. I am thankful for my friends especially if they read my blog. I'm very thankful for my devout bloggies...thanks for reading my crap. Lots to be thankful for this Thanksgiving Day! ...I need a hug... ; )

Scissors should be BANNED from certain hands...

I am so seething mad today I can hardly stand it. I'm probably more upset at me for allowing myself to get pressured into a bad situation that I will clearly regret for at least 6 months (or however long it takes to regrow inches off a child's sweet head of hair). Some people should be banned from handling scissors and/or clippers when a male child under the age of 5 is involved. These people specifically have a red and blue striped pole twirling outside their place of business. They should be required to place a disclaimer outside their shop stating that they are "mother approved" for the first haircut ONLY which basically consists of just lobbing off that one little curl to wrap in cellophane and place in the baby book for eternity, that could be performed at home but because it is a boy it needs to be performed in a daddy approved man place like a barber shop. After that, barber shops should be required to turn away any child who is under 5...unless they are dressed in camo from head to toe and sporting a rifle over their shoulder complete with a spit tobacco swollen lip...Only then should a barber be allowed to rev up his clippers (because ONE its a given lifetime high and tight, and TWO his mom clearly is not dressing him in coveralls and planning to take his Christmas card picture any time soon.) So, my poor baby looks like crap. I hate his hair. I cried today over lost babyhood. It was pitiful. My older son asked me if I was done crying and (clearly preparing him for husbandhood later on in life) I told him NO, I needed to cry over D's terrible haircut some more. So, here's my lesson I learned today and the one I pass on to all my fellow bloggies. DO NOT let anyone who is associated with a barber shop come anywhere near your baby unless you are prepared for all those sweet locks to be lopped off without a care in the world. It truly is heartbreaking...and horrible...I wish it had been my head. : ( Be warned. ; )

Welcome Leandro!!!

Welcome to the world Leandro Wilson Carpenter! Born on election day. Congrats to my brother and Cassia on their new bundle of joy (trust me, that phrase only lasts while you are on your exhaustion high and you can send the baby to the nursery and you have an army nurses at the tip of your call button finger to help you...) In all seriousness, congrats! And can't wait to meet the little guy. Emerson is already putting together a pile of inappropriate toys he wants Leandro to play with when they meet. ; ) And just for the record, you can all thank little Leandro this morning because my fingers were so warmed up to blog about this election... : )

VOTE TODAY!

Okay. I have so much to say on this topic I would crash the entire Internet world if I said everything I would like to say (never mind not leave my house for a decade or two which would just be a shame to the world in itself). Anyway, I'm all about voting. Shame on everyone who doesn't vote that can. However, the process just down right sucks. I totally blame the media (who doesn't). Why is it we can put a man on the moon, but we have the most f-ed up, archaic, ballot casting methods known to man (and woman)? So, since it's election day, and I clearly appear to be stepping up onto my soap box...well, I'm up, so here goes.

If I could change the political process voting for President of the United States, this is how it would work. Think a little "Miss America" here minus the swim suit portion (yes, talent would be included).
1) 365 days before the election (so Nov. 4, 2007 for this election), each state goes to the polls and votes for their state Presidential candidate. That gives us 50 candidates.
2) Immediately, each candidate will participate in a regional debate divided by time zone (ha! there's a concept...) and elect a regional Presidential candidate. This will quickly get us down to 4 candidates (Alaska and Hawaii would be included with PST - see I've thought this through). Yes, they could all be R's or all D's or all independents. These 4 candidates can spend the rest of the year campaigning, advertising, etc. all the usual junk.
3) ON ELECTION DAY - yes folks, that's DAY is in singular (minus military and absentee), we ALL goto vote. No more early voting. ALL polls are open at 6am EST (yes, that's an early morning for you west coaster volunteers) and ALL polls close at 9PM PST (yes, that's midnight - or 11:59 to keep it to one day for you east coasters). No precincts can report diddly until the stroke of midnight EST. (Including the media who won't have a clue what's going on and might actually have to report on other news besides who they think has already won by 9AM in the morning!!!!)
4) AT THE POLLS - Each voter will be required to take a short 5 question quiz such as who are the Presidential candidates, where is the White House, and other basic knowledge questions PRIOR TO VOTING. If you do not pass the quiz, you cannot vote. It's that simple. If you are too stupid to know what you are voting for, you shouldn't be allowed the privilege....period...

So, to wrap it up...What this will do...1) We all vote at the same time. There's no rolling across the country so Washingtonians think they don't need to vote because the election is over before their morning alarm clock even goes off. 2) Do away with this let's vote for the best of the worst which seems to be the case sometimes. We all get to vote in multiple mini elections. 3) This will do away with the Caucasus and other crap that noone really knows what they are anyway but big rally events and why is Iowa so lucky?

That's about it. Support me and my "Audra Plan" to reform the political process in this country. But, more importantly, be sure to vote today.

Oh, and please feel free to forward my plan to Obama and McCain. ; )