Climbing Mountains

So, I've decided a few things. One of them is to face my fears head on. For those of you who know me well, you know I HATE HEIGHTS. Even when I was young, climbing the 8-9 stairs from the Wert's driveway to their front door was incredibly terrifying for me. Clearly, I was going to slip through the hole between the slats and fall to my death. But, just like anything in life, one baby step at a time, and slowly I learned, I will not slip through that ridiculously small hole and fall the 2 feet to my death. That I could actually climb the stairs by feel and get to the top...safely. So, I have decided in life, I am going to baby step all my fears and face and conquer them one at a time.

Step one: HEIGHTS: am going to climb. First a wall. Then a rock...Then a mountain.

Step two: NEEDLES and PAIN: tattoo should handle this one. Seeking artist that can draw an awesome pegasus.

Step Three: LOSING CONTROL: being out of control is out of my comfort zone...Mind, body, spirit. Regaining control...

Love me.

Found a Dream Box

Still unpacking...yes, almost a year later there are a few boxes here and there that contain nothing but shit I don't need, but I will still take the time to see what treasures lie within. Today I found a small hidden box. It was covered in dust and taped shut. I opened the little box and there they were...all my dreams. Tucked away. Just waiting to be rediscovered...
Well, guess what...

Well...hello!

Clearly don't get me riled up on a topic. Since I've scared away any followers of my blog (except you hard-corers out there...yeah BW I know you're still reading) with my last entry, I thought I would continue on with the new me, chapter 2 stuff.
First of all, I need my horse back. She's been off for 6 months and its driving me crazy. I need her. I need to ride. She is a piece of the puzzle that keeps slipping out of place. Hopefully, we're on the road to recovery, and our recovery time is starting to count down.
Secondly...some people just plain piss me off. Just as my horoscope says...I love deeply and hate intensely...and my emotions are very extreme. For those of you who dare hang with me, this is frighteningly true.
If I like you...congrats. You made it to the club and unless you do something REALLY bad, you can count on me for life (I also bail out of jail no questions asked...)
Other than that...SSDD, but life is good.
Cheers!

CHAPTER 2

You may as well title this one CHAPTER 2. (Of course there have been numerous sub chapters within chapter one...)
I am me. Can I yell this any louder? Is anyone listening?!!! Clearly in the land of cotton there has been some excess that made its way into many a ear...but I've got news for you. I am me. And I am so proud of the new me. Not that I was ever a shit-taker, but I have evolved into a new, and maybe a more hardened, but more effective me. I LOVE this new me.
So, for those of you who have loved the old me...you will love this new me even more (at least most of you...there may be a few of you weaklings that can't handle it, but that's okay...survival of the fittest...good f'in luck to you...)
Love to all my followers...clearly you can handle any kind of ripple in the perfect fabric of life that is to be expected from me...and just for the record...I will always have the last word...(and really, anything after that doesn't really count anyway since I won't be listening anyway...)
CHEERS!!!!

Politics...

Oh no, don't let me get up on my soapbox. Politics...what a dirty little word. I guess I'll cut myself off there tonight before I get myself into trouble...

My Little Man

I know I was warned how childhood flicks by with the blink of an eye and I'm starting to appreciate that comment. In the past 8 months, my little guy has transformed from a sweet little kindergartner at the little church preschool to a teeth-losing, too cool, wii playing, getting ready to start 1st grader.
1st Grade...let that one sink in for a minute. Real school. No more naps and cutsie time. This is the real deal.
No more Mickey Mouse clubhouse. Cartoon network and ICarly are cool. No more "fancy shirts" like a Target polo. Graphic tee's only. I don't get to style his hair anymore. He wants to do it.
This is all alot for a mom to take in. At least there's still plenty of little boy in him still. Cuddles and book reading (ONLY in the privacy of our home, but I'll take it), playing cars, Candyland still gets a few rounds, and a lollipop is still an exciting treat.
So, here's to hanging onto the threads of childhood and true innocence. How sweet these times are.

Beached Whale Baby

Just returned not too long ago from going to the beach in NC. There are so many things I do love about the beach. The salt air, the sound of the waves, the hot weather. But, I think all that beachiness brings out the inner whale in me.
For some reason, its okay to start drinking beer on the beach at noon to wash down the entire bag of Doritos I'm hording. I'll eat things dripping in cheese and finish it off with a chocolatini. The snack cupboard is getting more of a workout than my body is. WHY is this?
So, here we go. Back on the bandwagon. My apologies to those of you who own Frito Lay stock as you should see a significant dip as I cut off my chip buying privileges. I will NOT be a beached whale unable to stuff one leg into a pair of jeans once the temperature drops off to 15. Mumu's just don't do as well in snow drifts.
So, here we go...

Angelina Jolie

I get the majority of my news from my YAHOO homepage. This isn't because I think it is a reputable news source, its because by the time I get to the kitchen and sip the first of my coffee, the kids have already attacked and the only possible hope of a second peaceful sip is to quickly turn on anything Disney. Which in turn has me firing up my Droid to see if anyone gives a shit and has sent me an email outside of trying to sell me Viagra or those annoying lose all your luck and your life's going to pot of you don't forward this chain email to your closest 1000 friends.

Today, Angelina Jolie was staring back at me with some crappy story about how her daughter wants to be a boy. Whatever. No matter your opinion of Jolie, she really is stunning. The thing I admire most about her is her "this is what you get" attitude. I love that. I want to be that. For now, I'll have to just read stories about her and catch some pics when she tops the YAHOO headlines. One day, I'll get to the "this is what you get" stage. No, really, all you nay-sayers...I will. Plus, I think tattoos are really cool...

Happy Frickin' Birthday to Me!

Another year...another birthday. Well, I'll tell you what. Birthdays are GREAT. There is no other day I can truly claim as my own. If I want to goto brunch, I'm not elbow fighting 500,000 other moms to get the last piece of cold bacon. If I want to open a gift, I don't have to wait and oooh and aaaah over others as they slowly lift the tape on each corner of their precious box in order to "save and reuse" the wrapping paper. (And don't even THINK of throwing that bow out!) If I want to read my book, I can pull out the "its my birthday" card and prop my feet up guilt-free and get lost in some garbage fictional world.

So, birthdays are great. So what if its another number closer to 100. The reality is, this is a great time of life. I can order wine and actually know what I am doing. I can cut off an entire line of ice cream eaters to order an emergency water for a sick child without batting an eye. I can dress up in stilettos and not look like I'm trying on my mom's shoes. I can pretty much do anything and not be looked at like "she's too young". And the other stuff? The "she's too old for that" stuff? Well, for those things I still like to do, that's what I have kids for...its because they wanted to do it.

So, here's to another year older. The good news is E thinks I'm 23 and D is convinced I'm 16 because that's how old you have to be to drive a car. Oh, and the cake? It's a "monster (dinosaur) with a pink ti era holding yellow flowers", which is truly a mommy of boys cake...Cheers!

Practicing Self Control

Self control...what a concept. I wish I were one of those people that could just spout out what came to mind. But no...somewhere along the line I was taught to say the right things and to act the right way. I want to stand on the roof of my car with the music blaring and scream into the night. But, I won't. Society has taught me that is inappropriate behavior, and sadly, I succumb to the inner walls of my proper world. I want to have tattoos of wise words and Pegasuses drawn all over my back and down my arms, across my neck, and down to the tips of my fingers...but I won't...wouldn't look proper. I want to free hand paint my walls with trees and birds and music notes...but I won't...

Bless my Sweet Pony!

So, Audra the rider is back in the saddle. Yahoo! Miss Princess Ana is doing GREAT. I am so proud of her. It feels so good to view the world from atop my pony again.

Now, the part I'm not loving so much is the post-winter fit of my breeches. Skin hugging pants just don't look as good in March as they do in July. Plus, the arena I'm working in has mirrors...oh yes...walls of them...the horror of it. I try not to look as I go trotting by. Thankfully, my confidence is still building so I don't have much time to take my "eyes off the road" and gawk at myself.

Oh well...thankfully warm weather and riding make me crave smoothies and lean protein instead of McDonald's and gooey pizza. So, here's to being back in the saddle, and cheers to losing some saddle bags. ; )

Speechless...yes, me.

It's not very often that I'm at a loss for the typed word...but today I am. So, here's to a goodnight, drug-induced, sleep, and hopefully my fingers will be clacking better tomorrow...

Just Can't Get it Together

I know I'm not the only one who feels like they are constantly trying to run up a 20 foot slide that has been newly iced over. I get my thoughts together, I ball up my fists, I scrunch my brow and focus...focus... I get about two step in when my feet slip, my body crashes down, and next thing I know there I am at the bottom again. At the bottom again with nothing accomplished. So, I move on. This time to the gerbil wheel. Around and around and around. The same thing over and over. Just when I feel like I'm getting somewhere...I'm back where I started. And of course, Groundhog Day. Didn't I just to the exact same thing yesterday? How did all this laundry get here? Where did the sink go under all these dishes? And the dust bunnies! How did they find their way back so quickly???

So, here's to getting up early...and having a better day today...

FOR SALE

...well not yet...but very sadly thinking about it...

Me? Tennis?

The other day I got an invitation to play tennis. Yes, tennis. In my desperation to have any adult time (bonus - add in a little calorie burning), I accepted. I don't play tennis. I have never played tennis. I have absolutely no formal training in tennis at ALL.

So, hoping I wouldn't instantly crush any chance at three new friends, I scrapped together an outfit I thought suitable for my first appearance on the court. I found some all purpose leggings that can go athletic or black tie, dusted off a workout skort I found in the back of my closet, located some tennis shoes that didn't have a black bottom (see, at least I knew this much), and fished out one of my riding/golf shirts...which I think are all about the same, they just change the little logo for the sport they're selling for (all equally ridiculously expensive...). I was ready.

Got to the athletic club and met the crew. I instantly announced my lack of experience just so we were all clear that tournament bound we would not be any time soon with me as the new addition. Seemed to not be a problem. Pro showed up handed me a racket and asked me what sort of tennis experience I had.

Oh boy...none. None? None...Have you every hit a ball? Like, just hit one with a racket? Sure! It looked more like I was playing baseball hitting fly balls, but YES I have hit a tennis ball. Ok...let's go.

Long story short...I'll have to give kudos, where kudos are due (they are fat-free of course). My BFF back in RMT is a super duper tennis star. If it weren't for her, I would bypass tennis matches on TV as fast as I flip past CSPAN. But, since I felt a pull to understand her world a little more, I made it a point to watch and learn. So, even though my serve is laughable, my backhand is "extremely underdeveloped", and my forehand is 50/50, I can at least keep score, know where the lines are and what they mean, I can talk like I know what the hell I'm doing, and I know who S. Williams is (which I think...poor thing...could use a B reduck too - I'm with ya girl!!!) (So, thx, my friend...)

Well, after all was said and done, I wasn't as bad as I thought, and it looks like I can keep up with my new friends S,J, and M (at least they invited me back again). Overall, I had a really good time and enjoyed tennis. So, a little adult time, $3 an hour child care for Dalton, and some exercise...I think tennis is FAB!

New Gazzillion Dollar Business Idea

I've got this fabulous new idea. It's guaranteed to make zillions of dollars. Everyone needs my product so success is imminent. I won't need a big warehouse to stock lots of inventory, nor will I need a huge staff to manage and deliver. All profit...in my pocket...

Of course, like any new business venture, there are a few challenges that lie ahead. Not being an expert engineer, the actual "making" of my product looks to be a bit difficult. If producing my product from scratch proves unattainable, then I will look to my next option which would be the harvesting of already available product. Again, my expertise in this field is limited which would force me to then recruit and employ the correct specialty staff which could be costly, but should prove minimal in the long run.

I will require a bit of capital to get things rolling. I know many of you would not pass up the chance to be involved in a cutting edge idea such as this. I will even include a brick with your name on it to be placed outside in my yard. Or, if your contribution is substantial, I have a kids park bench that I will hand carve your name into.

So...(insert drum roll)...what is this amazing idea? I am going to sell T-I-M-E. Yes, people, time. Because we all either need it or want it. I am also going to offer negative time (which will be very closely regulated - you will need a prescription to purchase this option). Negative time is for those going through a troubling or stressful time and need time to go by faster. For example, if you are meeting with the florist about your wedding flowers and both your mother and mother-in-law think they have an opinion, you can opt to use negative time to fast-forward to the end result which can be to the end of the meeting and to the choice you ultimately will choose. Or, in very extreme cases of meddling, you can use negative time to get straight to the wedding. Another example would be potty traineing a child. Use negative time to get through the poopy underwear and all the other "accidents" that leave you frustrated and sometimes horrified (like when your child has a nookarooka (another word for really bad diaper - usually up the back) in a furniture store looking at big boy beds and decides to investigate the awful sludge with a few fingers before wiping on his pant leg...all to a non-aware mommy who is painfully trying to not make the wrong decision on her child's bedroom furniture that will most likely send him off to college...(yes, true story...yes, yesterday...and, yes, have to go back today to actually order the furniture...so embarrassing.) In this case, negative time can bypass all of this and get straight to the furniture showing up in his room.

The only negative part of negative time, is not only do you fast forward through painful and stressful events, you will simultaneously bypass anything good happening at this time. Therefore, be warned...negative time should only be used in extreme situations.

So, there you have it. Time for purchase and negative time for purchase. I am looking for anyone wanting to prepay or invest in this amazing idea. (If I get enough investors, I might actually get that Mac and new camera I've been coveting and actually have a legit business that I know something about...but shhhhh...)

All I know is good business ideas come from experience. And of all things I could use in my life..its more time!!!!

I Want to Sleep Like a KING!

So it's no secret that some crazy biological malfunction occurred simultaneously with the conception of what is now Dalton that robs me of sleep on a daily basis. That being said, my sleep habits are at best "unsatisfactory" with drugs, and completely nonexistent without. Add two kids, two dogs, superhuman mommy hearing that hears every wind shift in the night, and a small bed. I used to think a Queen bed was HUGE... And it is when you're 6 and you sleep in a twin. But, I've leaned, the longer you're married, the more kids you have, and the older you get, the good ole queen just starts shrinking. Last night, first wake up call around 1:30 was a nightmare...Being too lazy and tired to deal with it, we did the whole, just pull him into bed, reassure that those bad monsters have gone away, snuggle, kiss, and back to sleep. Next pitter patter occurred about 3AM (still a little early to start my day). Pulled this one into the bed. Laid there with him while he and his brother kicked one another for about an hour. Put him on other side of me but then was afraid he would roll out. So, about 4:15, I'd had enough torture. Figured, a few hours was good enough to survive my day on, and gave the little one some Tylenol for his pain, and put him back to bed. Made some coffee and decided to have a little mommy time on the computer...hence another successful blog post. Well, maybe one day I'll get my new over sized KING and then maybe I'll get to sleep like one...wouldn't that be nice.

Giving Notice

I'd like to take a few days off for vacation. No, I don't want to go anywhere or do anything specific. In fact, sitting still and being quiet, is enough.

So, here's my notice. I would like this Saturday and Sunday off.

I would like to sleep past 5AM. I would like to lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and enjoy the day slowly beginning. I would like to sip my coffee curled up in the sunroom and enjoy the sun streaming in through the windows as I watch the birds convene at the feeder. I would like to sit at my computer and mindlessly surf the web. I would like to write. Later in the afternoon, I would like to lie down and relax. I would order dinner in. No chores, no children, no noise.

Sounds perfect.

Now, my only problem is I haven't figured out where and to whom I'm supposed to submit my notice...

Is it Bad I Keep Calling the Dog "Dalton"?

I know its bad...but probably about the same as calling one child by the others name (admit it - you've done it). I mean, really, if we look at it, there are probably more similarities than differences between Dalton and Bentley so using their names interchangably is an honest mistake...

What's different:
1. Two legs versus four.
2. One I can put in a kennel, lock the door and leave, and not get arrested.

What's the same:
1. Both are young and...well, young.
2. Both are working on potty training although I'll have to give this one to Bentley...he goes where he is supposed to about 95% of the time, while Dalton goes where he is supposed to less than 5%.
3. Both make lots of noise.
4. Neither one listen to me.
5. I have to repeat my request/command at least 5 times at increasing volume levels to acheive even partial compliance.
6. Both require ALOT of attention.
7. Both wake me up early.
8. Both need to goto school to learn and neither are enrolled.
9. Both drive me NUTS!
10. Both are a ball of nonstop activity.
11. Both are cute.
12. Both like to cuddle.
13. Both can destroy a toy in 2 seconds flat.
14. Both argue with their sibling over toys.
15. Both love their mommy and give lots of kisses.

; )

Ringing in 2010!!!

What in the world is wrong with me? I went and neglected my blog again. Shame...shame...

So, HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Oh, well, its not like I've been cozying up with a box of bon-bons or anything. So, quick update...since October...

1. Moved to St. Louis.
2. Emerson takes the big yellow school bus to his new elementary school.
3. Dalton has no school yet.
4. Mommy is looking into padded rooms for self.
5. Looking into loan to pay for 3 year old preschool...yes, its that expensive.
6. Might have to sell horse and dogs too. Boxer anyone?
7. Had a Happy Thanksgiving in Springfield with the Wisemans. Saw my horse...she is fat and happy.
8. Husband turned 40.
9. Friends and family came to town. Had a blast...(and a break from Dalton).
10. Had a Merry Christmas.
11. Went to NC for NYE.
12. Brian turned 40 - celebrated NYE and had a great time until I got tackled...which was still fun but have a sore elbow and hip which is healing fine. Should be 100% by the time I get released from my padded room.
13. Came back to STL where it is REALLY &*(&( COLD!!!!
14. Awaiting first real SNOW tonight.
15. Found my computer in mess of boxes in office so should be able to update blog more often than every 3 months. ; )

Whew! Okay, you're caught up.
Cheers!