Saturday, January 16, 2010

New Gazzillion Dollar Business Idea


I've got this fabulous new idea. It's guaranteed to make zillions of dollars. Everyone needs my product so success is imminent. I won't need a big warehouse to stock lots of inventory, nor will I need a huge staff to manage and deliver. All profit...in my pocket...


Of course, like any new business venture, there are a few challenges that lie ahead. Not being an expert engineer, the actual "making" of my product looks to be a bit difficult. If producing my product from scratch proves unattainable, then I will look to my next option which would be the harvesting of already available product. Again, my expertise in this field is limited which would force me to then recruit and employ the correct specialty staff which could be costly, but should prove minimal in the long run.


I will require a bit of capital to get things rolling. I know many of you would not pass up the chance to be involved in a cutting edge idea such as this. I will even include a brick with your name on it to be placed outside in my yard. Or, if your contribution is substantial, I have a kids park bench that I will hand carve your name into.


So...(insert drum roll)...what is this amazing idea? I am going to sell T-I-M-E. Yes, people, time. Because we all either need it or want it. I am also going to offer negative time (which will be very closely regulated - you will need a prescription to purchase this option). Negative time is for those going through a troubling or stressful time and need time to go by faster. For example, if you are meeting with the florist about your wedding flowers and both your mother and mother-in-law think they have an opinion, you can opt to use negative time to fast-forward to the end result which can be to the end of the meeting and to the choice you ultimately will choose. Or, in very extreme cases of meddling, you can use negative time to get straight to the wedding. Another example would be potty traineing a child. Use negative time to get through the poopy underwear and all the other "accidents" that leave you frustrated and sometimes horrified (like when your child has a nookarooka (another word for really bad diaper - usually up the back) in a furniture store looking at big boy beds and decides to investigate the awful sludge with a few fingers before wiping on his pant leg...all to a non-aware mommy who is painfully trying to not make the wrong decision on her child's bedroom furniture that will most likely send him off to college...(yes, true story...yes, yesterday...and, yes, have to go back today to actually order the furniture...so embarrassing.) In this case, negative time can bypass all of this and get straight to the furniture showing up in his room.

The only negative part of negative time, is not only do you fast forward through painful and stressful events, you will simultaneously bypass anything good happening at this time. Therefore, be warned...negative time should only be used in extreme situations.


So, there you have it. Time for purchase and negative time for purchase. I am looking for anyone wanting to prepay or invest in this amazing idea. (If I get enough investors, I might actually get that Mac and new camera I've been coveting and actually have a legit business that I know something about...but shhhhh...)


All I know is good business ideas come from experience. And of all things I could use in my life..its more time!!!!

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