Sunday, June 12, 2011

Another Question of the Day

Question: Where do babies come from?

Audra's Answer: Really? Of all the questions in the world to pick from the air, the first one I thought of was this? Ok, so let's talk about it. Why can't babies "come from" a stork? I guess besides the total danger of flying a newborn high above the world in nothing but a thin piece of cloth tied up like a sling and dangling from a beak could have something to do with it. But think of how lovely it would be!
No painful birth for starters. Things wouldn't get all out of whack and never really quite get back the way they're supposed to. No feeling hungover for 4 months and going postal when you discover someone (aka husband) ate the last sleeve of Saltines after he stumbling home drunk and those CRACKERS ARE A NECESSARY SURVIVAL TOOL.
The weight gain, the endless heartburn, the insomnia, the excessive exhaustion, the fretting over the crib linens, do you get the matching bumper set or is it a waste of money (clearly waste of money since you're not supposed to use them anyway...dampens oxygen flow or some crap), do you get the glider with the rocking footstool or is that fluff like the bumpers (GO for the rocking footstool...good use of funds), the breast pump (that deserves a line of its own but for my own sanity's sake I will keep going), baby bottles, baby food (do you make your own? Hell no...), diapers...cloth or world-ending-live-in-a-landfill-forever disposables? My goodness, the list could go on, and on, and on...and it does.
But, to answer my question...where do babies come from? They ALL come from an incredible woman who's body did some crazy shit to bring you into this world. And if we moms could trade it all in for a stork delivery? I bet most of us would definitely think about it....
Cheers to all the amazing moms out there...

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