Day 3. Okay, I am officially getting warmed up. So, tonight a friend and I went to see Sex and the City. We met up at the bar for a sophisticated meal of sushi and cosmos pre-flick looking smart in our Minolo Blahniks, Sevens, and Geborniys. That last one is a puzzle for all you fashionistas out there. Okay, so we really did have sushi and cosmos which is super high society in an area known more for its fried chicken and bar-b-que. So, that was fun. Then we goto the theatre. I suggested the medium combo which includes a half barrel of greasy, butter soaked popcorn, a two litre size drink, and a choice of overpriced candy. However, upon studying the prices, my friend quickly noted the LARGE combo was only a dollar more so we should certainly triple our calories since we will be sitting dormant for the next two hours and then going to bed. I couldn't agree more! Financially it just made sense! So, we order our LARGE combo, gather up our 20,000 calorie snack, and head to the condiment station where we added a little salt, grabbed two wrapped straws (don't ever grab the loose straws if you can help it), and napkins.
Now, as a sidebar, my friend is a Sagittarius. I am a Gemini. My husband is a Sag, and her husband is Gem. We joke when its not a gender issue, we can usually chalk it up to the stars as far as bizarre behavior. So, when we get to the napkins, I told her I already got some. She took a look at the conservative wad in my hand and immediately grabbed more. J always thinks I skimp on napkins at the movies, and I fret over the amount of paper one can pull out of those black boxes. Kind of funny. (This comes into play later...) So, off to screen #10 we go.
Partway into the movie (and this is not a spoiler) Miranda discloses it had been 6 months since she's had sex with her husband. My friend, we'll call her "Carolyn" jumped in her seat and let out a loud yelp! (I think she forgot the rest of us were in there with her for a minute...) It was so loud! We started giggling like little schoolgirls. Next, I underestimated the width of my LARGE coke and tried to palm it like a basketball. I got the cup up just past the safety of the cup holder rim when the lid popped off and the cup started to buckle along with lots of sweet, sticky liquid and some noise making ice cubes. Kersplash! At least it only got the side of my chair and some on my leg. I took my now embarrassingly small stack of napkins and cleaned myself up as best I could all the while envying the pile of clean, white napkins "Carolyn" had laid all across her pretty white pants. I held my soaking wad in my hand the rest of the movie as it was all I had. We giggled some more about my mishap. Then, next thing you know, not even 10 minutes later, "Carolyn" made the same Large combo rookie mistake. She tried to palm her coke. She made it farther past the cup rim when I heard KKERRRSPLASH! The entire coke spilled. Now, one of the only very serious, quiet parts of the movie is going on and "Carolyn" and I are in hysterics. I could hardly see the movie through my tears and if it were a deep, thought-provoking film, I surely would have been lost. Now, we had a dilemma. When the movie is over, do we high-tail it out of there before anyone sees how bad we've destroyed our area? Or do we sit and wait for the lights to come on so we avoid any potential injury from wet floors? We waited for the lights...and when they came on OH MY the river of coke. We had to go out our row the long way to avoid the puddles. I try to pick up all my garbage when I leave my seat, so I turned to grab my coke which was about 1/3 full. I amateurishly tried to palm my beverage again and when the top popped off in the cup holder, I was like forget it! So, my apologies for those who had to clean up after us but I'm sure they've seen much worse. So, my lesson for today...don't be a pig and order the large combo. Save the dollar and the dry cleaning bill for something else!
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